did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize