was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize