Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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