Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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