I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize