I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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