Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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