so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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