If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize