I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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