i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
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I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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