Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize