I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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