her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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