Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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