Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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