You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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