Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize