I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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