real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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