Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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