sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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