he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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