walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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