party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
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When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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