There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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