Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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