Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
birth control should be required to get into college
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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