You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize