we have officially lost it.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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