I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize