Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize