U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize