I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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