I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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