im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize