Your tits are I can't wait for
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
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I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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