after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize