I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize