You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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