So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
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