I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize