after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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