went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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