even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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