i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
try to milk me bitch
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