I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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