I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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