She's JV to your varsity
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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