Is it because I queefed?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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